"I've Just Got Off
The Chain"
by Harry Lauder
submitted by Scott Hadley
NOTICE!!!
If
posting these lyrics to another website
Please
give credit for lyrics copied and
provide
a link to this website.
I
would do the same for you.
sheetmusic
by e-mail request
Verse I
I've never
been away mysel' before in all my life,
I've never
had a holiday away without my wife.
And I've
never felt so happy and I've never felt so free.
I would
give a gold and silver cup,
To know
what's wrong with me.
Patter (spoken)
I would
I'd give, well, you know what I mean. I'd give anything but money. Anything
to know the
cause of
my exuberatednessessness. Aye, fancy, fancy, fancy , I'm going away
for two weeks holiday and
I've got
two weeks pay in my pooch and my wife's in the hospital with a broken leg.
Of course, mind you,
when the
accident happened I was very sorry. Oh, I was ve.... I could have
cried, but I didn't. It wasn't the time to cry, it was the time for action!
I had to get her to the hospital and after I got her to the hospital and
saw that she
was comfort.....comfortably
situated I went home to my wee kitchen and I sat down and I ate four tins
of sardines.
I wish
you could have seen my tongue in the morning. I had a coat and a pair of
trousers hanging on it. Ah, but that
didn't
keep me from singing:
Verse II
For I've
just got off the chain, I've just got off the chain.
I'm feeling
as happy as a lark, the ducks among the rain.
I'm going
to be having the time of my life away from Mrs. McBain,
Because
she'll maybe never get the chance to break her leg again.
I've been
a very happy man all through my married life,
But just
like other married men, I've been subject to my wife.
But mind
I've always been a man , I have always stood my ground.
But I must
admit I've often been knocked out in the first round.
Patter (spoken)
Yes, and
where is the man that can sit here and truthfully say that he has never
been knocked out during
the whole
of his married life? I would love to see him, will you please stand up.
No, he's not here tonight.
I remember
one night there was Thompson, Sampson, Simpson, Dickson, Johnson, Gibson,
and Nelson,
and we
were all in the little back room having a game of dominoes and then they
would have me make a
speech.
I said the only speech that I could make, I says, is on domesticity. So
I rose and I said, " well
now,
I'm going to tell you this without fear" There's a fine expression for
a married man to use. I say
this without
fear that I, that I am Caesar! I am Caesar in my own house. Then the room
door opened and
my wife
stuck her head in and she said, "Caesar, home!" Did I go? You bet
I did. I was home a quarter
of an hour
before her and took up my position below the bed. 'Course when she came
in she ordered me
out.
I said "no nothing" I wish you could've heard what I said to her
and to mysel'. Yes! go on, giggle,
giggle.
I know what you're giggling at, oh I know. You think I went home
because I was afraid of my wife,
well, you're
wrong. It's not true. Well, why did I go home? ha ha! ha! ha ha!
As an example to the rest of
them who
were there!
Verse III
For I've
just got off the chain, I've just got off the chain.
I'm feeling
as happy as a lark, the ducks a'mang the rain.
I'm going
to have the time of my life away from Mrs. McBain,
Because
she'll maybe never get the chance to break her leg again.
Just got
off the chain, I've just got off the chain.
I'm
feeling as happy as a lark, the ducks a'mang the rain.
I'm going
to have the time of my life away from Mrs. McBain,
Because
she'll maybe never have the chance to break her leg again.