"Down In Johnson's"
Written, composed, & sung by
Harry Lauder
Arrangement by MacKenzie Murdock
Published but never recorded.

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Verse 1
There's a certain famous barbershop, a place of great renown,
And the name of that establishment is Johnson's
All the lodgers and the dodgers, and the rascals in the town,
Assemble ev'ry ev'ning down in Johnson's;
For he's the boy to clip your whiskers, and he always is in form;
And he puts whiskey in the water, too, to keep it nice and warm,
And before he shaves a customer, he gives him chloroform;
And they charge you "nixey" for it down in Johnson's.

1st. Chorus
Down in Johnson's - Johnny Johnson's!
He goes around about your jaw, with a razor like a saw-
in Johnny Johnson's, Mister Johnson,
If you want to go to glory, go to Johnson's

Verse 2
The other day a party from somewhere about the south,
Was giving up some cheek, while down in Johnson's;
So one of the attendants stuck a soap brush in his mouth,
And there was a riot in down in Johnson's.
He seized some shaving paper, threw it at the barber's head,
But it missed the mark, and struck a poor old tailor there instead;
And the next thing we discovered was the tailor lying dead -
There was grief and tribulation down in Johnson's!

2nd. Chorus
Down in Johnson's - Johnny Johnson's!
If you want to see a fight, any day or any night;
Down in Johnson's - Mister Johnson -
Insure your life before you go to Johnson's.
 

3rd. Verse
If you have got an enemy in this or any place,
Try and get him kidded down to Johnson's;
But he'd better bid farewell to the nose upon his face,
When he sits down to get a shave in Johnson's.
For it's ten to one when he's been shaved the rest'll yell! encore
When they see his ears and whiskers lying all about the floor;
But tho' he shaves an ear off you, he charges nothing more
For getting mutilated in Johnson's.

3rd. Verse
Down in Johnson's - Johnny Johnson's!
You'll be fancying that you were on the field at Waterloo,
Down in Johnson's - Mister Johnson's
I you want to get dissected, go to Johnson's.

4th. Verse
Now a swellah of a fellah, by the name of Billy Brown,
One day he lost his nose while down in Johnson's;
But they stuck it on his face with glue, and stuck it upside down,
One result of journeying to Johnson's.
Now it's very unconvenient for Billy, I suppose,
The very kids upon the street all kid him where he goes;
Now he's got to stand upon his head each time he blows his nose,
And he swears he'll never go again to Johnson's.

4th. Chorus
Down in Johnson's - Johnny Johnson's!
When they sit you in a chair, you will know that you are there,
Down in Johnson's - Johnny Johnson's!
If you want to go to glory, go to Johnson's

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