Aye, Something Happens To Me
by Harry Lauder
submitted by James Marturano
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I'm a very unfortunate fellow I think,
There's aye something happens to me,
And if I go to bed early can't sleep a wink.
Fors there's aye some things happens to me.
And then when I'm sleepin' I'm dreamin' I'm dead,
Or somebody wantin' to cut off my head,
And then when I waken, I fall oot o' bed,
There's something happens to me.

Refrain
O. dear me! What shall I do if I dee?
My faither, and mither, and sister, and brother,
They'll all be weepin' for me.

Verse 2

My first pair of troosers I'll never forget,
there's aye something happens to me,
Sleepin' or waken' I'm mind o' them yet,
There's aye some things happens to me.
My old mither made them her sel' that's a fact,
They were tight right aboot where
They should have been slack,
The front of the things they were roond at the back,
there's aye, something happens to me.

Refrain

Verse 3

I went to a marriage, I was the best man,
But there's aye something happens to me.
To keep up the fun for the night was my plan,
There's aye some things happens to me.
I waited for hours with the bride on my knee,
Cause the bridegroom was coming fron bonnie Dundee,
But the engine broke doon, and the bride married me,
There's aye something happens to me.

Refrain

Verse 4

I went to cady one day on the links,
Oh there's aye something happens to me,
The chaps that were golfin' were golfin' for drinks,
But there's aye, some things happens to me.
The chap I was cadyin' for was a crack,
I teed his ball and he gave me a whack,
When he landed it right in the small of my back,
There's aye, something happens to me.

Refrain

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