"Fou the Noo"
or (Something
In The Bottle For The Morning)
by Gerald Grafton
and Harry Lauder
submitted by George Worthley
and Carol Clark
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I
would do the same for you.
I just come frae a weddin',
or a fun'ral,
A christ'nin' or somethin' of the kind,
And the stuff that I've been drinkin' took my noodle,
And to what or where I've been I can na mind.
I feel as brave as any highway robber;
I've the courage of a dozen men the noo;
I'm a miserable devil when I'm sober
But I'm very, very happy when I'm fou!
Chorus
And I'm fou the noo! absolutely fou!
But I adore the country I was born in.
My name is Jock McGraw and I dinna care a straw
For I've somethin' in the bottle for the mornin'
And I'm fou the noo! absolutely fou!
But I adore the country I was born in.
My name is Jock McGraw and I dinna care a straw
for I've somethin' in the bottle for the mornin'!
Verse 2
If ye take a Five Pound Note to light your pipe with;
If ye think a bassinette's a motor car;
If ye lift the doormat up to wipe your nose with,
If you're in your hoose and don't know where you are;
If you kiss a policeman and say "Hoo dearly,
My dearest darlin' pet hoo, I love you"
Well then that denotes conclusively and clearly.
That, like me, ma freen's, yer absolutely fou!
Chorus
verse 3
I felt quite mad when coming roon the corner,
A lamp post struck me richt between the eyes!
Ma blood got up I wanted to be fighting,
Because the thing did not apologize.
Just after that I tumbled oe'r a doorstep,
"Thieves!" "Murder!" and "Police!" I cried,
but I'm goin' to make the owner compensate me,
for his negligence in leaving it outside.
Patter (spoken) Yes, but at the same time the burnin' question
is , when is a man fou? Eh? Of course,
the cheaper the whiskey, the greater the burnin' question. The
wife will swear whe I go home that I've
been drinkin' . Would you notice I've been drinkin',
eh? As I was comin' along the street th' noo,
I met a half-cousin of the wife's : you "know one of these Dr.
Dowie-chaps".
said he "John! I'm surprised
at you. are you aware the wicked stand on slippery places?"
"Well!" said I, "you should be just like me - keep slidin' along,
and there's no fear of you"
Said he, "You are not fit for any society!"
Said I, "That's a lie the wife has me in the Prudential."
Ya see th' bird I've got in ma hand? (holding chicken
up by the neck). D'ye know the way I got it? Ma hat
blew off and I chased this for half-an-hour!
Chorus